Ashes 2021-22: Australia v England first Test, day two – live! | Sport

62nd over: Australia 224-5 (Head 22, Carey 7) Yet again, Stokes is going to flog himself for the cause, and he’s not quite right on his front foot so Head hauls him to the square-leg fence for four, then cuts him to point for four more. England can’t afford this – big overs or Head to settle – but they know that this is their time, so it makes sense to turn to their magic man. It’s not worked though, because when he serves one up on the hip, Head forces it off, an from deep backward square, Leach chugs around the fence, dives, saves the four, then throws the ball into himself and cedes the four. I daresay he’ll be hearing from the crowd at this juncture.

61st over: Australia 212-5 (Head 10, Carey 7) Woakes continues over the wicket, but with two lefties you wonder if at some point he might try around; I’d also like to see Wood and Robinson trying to slant them in and cramp the batters, because if they don’t try something now, this match will be gawn. Another maiden for Woakes.

“Certainly us Aussies can be a parochial bunch, no denying that,” says Tom. “That said Ricky Ponting is just about the best commentator I’ve ever come across in any code. The hardest part about tuning into the cricket so far has been the utterly tone deaf soundtrack provided by the barmy army. If I have to hear you are my sunshine one more goddamn time…”

Agree with all of that, though long-time readers will know that I do have a soft spot for the Barmy army singing Jerusalem, then applauding themselves.

60th over: Australia 212-5 (Head 10, Carey 7) Robinson charges in again and after three dots, Carey gets himself off the mark in Test cricket, a front-foot drive for four punishing a slightly overpitched delivery. And he adds three more next ball, knocking through mid off, before Head turns for through midwicket. Eleven off the over, taking Australia’s lead to 65.

“Somethiing Flintoffian about the laddish swagger of Robinson,” says W McGonagall. “Looks like he lifts the side with character and performance. There is a callow and febrile belly to this Australian batting that hides behind a) its stars and b) the noisier discussion about England’s batting weaknesses.”

Agreed in the second aspect – there’s not much batting in the middle order, though the tail isn’t bad. Otherwise, I’m not sure whether Robinson has Flintoff’s competitive charisma, or if he’s just really good.

59th over: Australia 201-5 (Head 6, Carey 0) It’s Woakes, who beats Head outside off and receives the rich reward of a nod; that’s one to tell the grandkids. In the field, Ben Stokes is making like he’s going to bowl, which has me wincing in my north London box-room, and that’s a maiden. This is terrific stuff, and it’s not too much to say that this Test – and in a way, perhaps even the series – might be set over the next hour or so.

58th over: Australia 201-5 (Head 6, Carey 0) Five slips and a gully for Robinson, so of course Head edges through the gap between them, and the ball scuttles away for four, then another edge – admittedly played with soft hands – drops short of Pope at five. This is intense, intensifying stuff now, every ball an event – this is why we’re here, people – and Head tries to leave instead guiding short of two. A single to midwicket follows, and Joe Root has a decision to make – does he trust a spinner, either Leach or himself, or does he toss Woakes the ball.

57th over: Australia 196-5 (Head 1, Carey 0) Obviously at least two of Starc, Cummins and Hazelwood will make fifties, but in the meantime, let’s bask in the fact that for an hour at least, we’ve got ourselves a series. In decades to come, we’ll look back on it with great fondness, which is more than can be said of the individual who’s run onto the park; where’s Sam Kerr when you need her? Maiden to Wood; how long can England keep him going?

“The BBC doesn’t have international rights this time,” emails Yaseer Mahomed. “But Sydney Radio doesn’t have rights blocking on.” And in similar vein, Daniel says “In answer to Quinton’s question, you can download the SEN app to listen to the cricket from overseas, I’ve been using it today in Seoul. But get ready for some parochial Aussie commentary…”

Is there any other kind? Anwyay, great stuff – thanks a lot.

56th over: Australia 196-5 (Head 1, Carey 0) A leg bye follows, then a dot, and that’s a double-wicket maiden, or is that a double-wicket-maiden, for Robinson. He is good at cricket.

56th over: Australia 195-5 (Head 1, Carey 0) Robinson’s hat-trick ball is full and straight, but Carey digs it out well. Still, he’d’ve took it.

Are you trying to seduce me Mr Robinson?! Robinson is on a hatty, and this is a disaster for Cameron Green, who shoulders arms at a bail-trimmer and departs without having played a shot. It’s going to be a long night of the soul for him, but here comes the hat-trick ball….

Warner’s luck runs out but that’s brilliant from Robinson, fooling the batter with a slower one; Warner goes to smash him, is through the shot early, and finds Stokes at mid off, who dives forward and hangs on! That’s why he’s still out there, but more importantly, do we got ourselves a ball-game? Do we got ourselves a series?!

55th over: Australia 195-3 (Warner 95, Head 1) Warnie’s back on comms and tells us that during the interval, Ben Stokes was investigating whether or not he could bowl; he could not. That’s a shame, because England could seriously use his ability to plough through 824 uninterrupted overs while making something happen. As Warne also notes, he’s probably only still out there because he can’t bat tillas many overs as he was off for have elapsed – and I daresay England also want to retain one of their few safe pairs of hands. Meantime, Wood continues and beats Head’s cross-bat outside off, then Head nurdles a leg-side one off the square to get off the mark and Warner takes a single too.

Off we go again, Australia leading by 46 with seven first-innings wickets intact.

“How do I listen to live radio commentary in Hong Kong?” wonders Quentin Burrows. The link isn’t on the BBC site where it was during the English summer, so if someone can help our brother out, please do.

Email! “Morning, Daniel” begins Ian, Copestake. “Thanks for seeing us through the dark hours. A pavement stomping would also at this point be like a birthday present.”

American History X meets Withnail and I, what a mash-up that is.

And while England are in Australia, enjoy an Australian in England by way of the brilliant Sam Kerr.

Some reading for your break: an interview with John Morris, reflecting on the Tiger Moth escapade, English cricket’s famed sense of humour, and how the stuff peripheral to sport is as important as the sport itself.

54th over: Australia 193-3 (Warner 94, Head 0) The wicket came off the last ball of the over, so England don’t get to go at Head – though if this is the last one before tea, he’ll have 20 minutes to think about being on nought. Meantime, Warner looks to turn away to leg and instead edges four through backward point – this has been a phenomenally spawny knock. In comms, they want Robinson to come around, he doesn’t, and that is tea.

Now then! Wood again goes wide, Smith gets on tippy-toes to leap eithout moving feet, lazily hanging out a bat, and he feathers behind! Wood earned that, though it was a curiously skittish innings from Smith, and might England somehow turn a kicking into a mere beating?

53rd over: Australia 189-2 (Warner 90, Smith 12) I guess with tea coming up in 10, these two can stick about for a burst afterwards … er, if they want to, Wood skipping wide of the crease in his delivery stride and following-through as Smith clatters through mid off for four.

52nd over: Australia 185-2 (Warner 90, Smith 8) Yup, respite for Australia: Robinson replaces Leach, and his first delivery beats Warner outside off. In comms, they note that he’s a good bowler, able to make the ball go either way off the seam, but lacks the yorker that “Your Garners and your Ambroses” are able to deploy. Meantime, we see a shot of someone in the crowd dressed as a crusader. Lovely, lovely stuff. Maiden.

“It appears that Smithy is going to trust being enveloped in Warner’s luck bubble,” says Yum. “Warner be like ‘don’t worry buddy, there’s plenty for both of us’.” They doing everything together, these.

51st over: Australia 185-2 (Warner 90, Smith 8) Smith pinches a single to Malan, who sprawls to stop and hurls at the non-striker’s; he’s got time too, so silly is the risk, but he misses by aeons. We then watch a replay of the review-yielding ball “I think that’s good, me” says Wood, and Buttler adds that he doesn’t think it’s high.

It pitched outside off, so we don’t even get to see it missing on height and width.

51st over: Australia 183-2 (Warner 89, Smith 7) Wood hurtles in, wallops the back pad, there’s an appeal, a refusal, and England review! Looked hopeful to me, high and missing, but Wood liked it…

50th over: Australia 183-2 (Warner 89, Smith 7) Leach has a leg slip and an onside field, looking to bowl straight and stop Australia scoring while hoping for an error; good luck, old mate. And shonuff, Warner humps his second delivery to the square leg fence for a one-bounce four – clever clever, all part of the plan or something. I’m not sure why England don’t go at it now, because if Smith settles they’re absolutely jiggered, while there’s not loads of batting after this partnership. Meantime, Smith comes down and slices a hoik miles from his body but away from the fielders, and they run three. I wonder if we’ll see Robinson coming back for a burst.

49th over: Australia 175-2 (Warner 84, Smith 4) Root immediately replaces Woakes with Wood, who’s been England’s best bowler so far. His loosener is a short one, Warner leaping to play it down into the pitch, then after his second ball we see Burns’ ponytail poking out the back of his cap and I’m just not sure he’s earned that look. On the other hand, he has earned the chase he has to make when Warner eases a square drive for four and a single follows.

48th over: Australia 170-2 (Warner 79, Smith 4) Smith has a look at leach, playing him in circumspect manner … for one ball, before advancing down the track before ball so much as leaves hand, inside-edging through midwicket for four. Leach has Australia on the ropes! He’s done well to hang in there because he’ll have known the plan was to hit him out of the attack, and he’ll have known why it was the plan too.

Ahahahahahahaha! A touch of turn away and a little bit more bounce as Labuschagne steps away to cart Leach square, disrespect seeping through every pore of his very being – and picks out Wood at point! He will be spewing and rightly so.

48th over: Australia 166-1 (Warner 79, Labuschagne 74) “The pain is piled on England!” hollers the commentary box as Marnus advances and mows Leach over wide long-on for six; in the crowd, someone belly-flops over the row seeking the catch, but can’t quite get there. Leach is under big pressure now, but he buys them. At Harrods.

47th over: Australia 160-1 (Warner 79, Labuschagne 68) Warner drives down the ground for two and Stokes sets off in ginger pursuit; he’s not in great shape. Then Warner tries to remove his bat from one and instead bunts into the ground “He’s making 200,” says Warnie, who’s extremely taken with the luck yerman has enjoyed so far. Another brace follows, and that’s the 150 partnership.

“Regarding all the ballyhoo about how many no-balls Stokes had already delivered until *that* one was singled out etc,” emails Sankaran Krishna. “Here is my take: if Dennis Lillee, Michael Holding, Richard Hadlee and Kapil Dev could take over a thousand test wickets between them while hardly ever bowling a no-ball in their careers, just stop bowling no-balls already. Just. stop. End of the matter.”

I’m not sure it’s as simple as that: chancdes are we’re hotter on calling then now than then. But yeah, I look at it like I like at corners hitting the first man in football: if they were rewarded with corporal punishment, there’d be fewer of them.

46th over: Australia 156-1 (Warner 77, Labuschagne 68) Warner’s no mug, and won’t be confused by the Gilo variation: the one that goes straight on versus the one that doesn’t turn. So after a single to Labuschagne hands him the strike, he swats over square leg fo fo. Another single follows, and England are just so England.

45th over: Australia 150-1 (Warner 70, Labuschagne 67) Warner sends Woakes to long leg, where Crawley, on as sub, slides into a decent stop; they run two, and Australia take the lead. It’s the way I tell em. OK, hands up – it’s the way English cricket tells em. I see it as a Biggus Dickus situation: that simple gag that’s so perfect it’s hilarious every single time you see it. Four off the over, and I guess Australia declare about this time tomorrow, then have things done by tea on day four.

44th over: Australia 146-1 (Warner 67, Labuschagne 66) In comms, Alastair Cook watches a replay of that Burns dropped catch, noting that it’s exactly where you want it as a slipper, one side of the hip, also saying it’s the worst feeling in cricket. Unsaid in parentheses: if you’ve never been out – bowled around your legs! – first ball of an Ashes series. Yesterday, the great Rob Smyth and I were musing that if first ball of an innings is a golden duck and first ball of a match is a diamond duck, then perhaps first ball of a series is a platinum duck and first ball of an Ashes series is an ultimate duck. the Aussie scorecards of our youth featured a cartoon duck quacking, but on those occasions, it needs to also give the finger, or some kind of Nescafé handshake. Back in the middle, the batters are back on the milk, Labuschagne taking a two and one while Warner adds two singles off Leach. The partnership is 136.

And that’s drinks. Let’s be real, England’s fielders could use a livener.

43rd over: Australia 141-1 (Warner 65, Labuschagne 63) Thanks Sam and hello, hello everyone. It’s good to be back, good to be back. It’s actually quite cunning of England to deliberately spurn wicket-taking opportunities, given SPD Smith is in next; always one step ahead. Meantime, Woakes beats Labuschagne with a wibble-seamer that nips away – it’s been a long afternoon, and it’s older wobble-brother has long since turned it in. Maiden.