This is a rush transcript from ” Gutfeld! ,” July 20, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
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JOY REID, MSNBC ANCHOR: I don’t allow people to just make up the insane lies on the show.
I call them spicy Biden today.
Who run the world? Well, obviously, Lil Nas X.
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LAURA INGRAHAM, FOX NEWS HOST: Happy anniversary –
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CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ANCHOR: Just to correct the record, I never greased up. You will see sweat, but I am never wearing any kind of oil or anything like that when I work out. Governor suggested otherwise nothing but respect, not true.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER (R), FORMER GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA: It’s OK. You can deny it. It’s just fine. I mean later on we can talk about it for privately about what kind of oil do you use the loaded stuff? It was coconut oil I was told. But anyway, let’s forget about it.
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GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Come on, Chris. Everyone knows you put the oil on after the workout.
Happy Tuesday, everyone. It is Tuesday, right? Yes. Cat is recuperating after a minor commuting accidents.
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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That’s what I was afraid of.
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GUTFELD: That wasn’t really her. Anyway, in for her is Emily Compagno, who was just on “THE FIVE” recently.
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EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Hi, guys. Happy Friday. We’re so excited to be here on “THE FIVE.” Me and Jessica and Jessie and Shannon and Greg, they will all be here any minute and we’ll see you guys at “FIVE.”
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GUTFELD: What’s so funny? All right. So, you remember these Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue? It’s the one that had as much to do with sports as I do. I was more of a Better Homes and Gardens kind of guy. I wasn’t the best at landing a free throw, but damn I could landscape a backyard in more ways than one, Chadwick.
I bring up that old magazine because like Hunter Biden it’s now trying hard to change. For their 2021 swimsuit edition, they featured three stars on the cover, a tennis pro, Naomi Osaka, a rapper Megan Thee Stallion, and trans activist, Leyna Bloom. The magazine has ticked more boxes than a meth head doing his SATs.
But damn, that’s going to confuse the 90-year-olds who’s still subscribed to the ones legendary magazine. But it’s perfect for it’s designed his outrage theater for the right and noble approval seeking from the left and both work hand in hand to help Sports Illustrated prop up their brand like the corpse in Weekend at Bernie’s.
But because the desperation for relevance is so obvious, the consumers shrugs. People know a participation trophy when they see one. While their peers in the media plot their enlightened editorial perspective, the average guy and gal rolls their eyes, their disbelieving eyes. It’s happening everywhere sports, politics, life in general, everything’s woke. It’s no longer about reality. It’s the perception of inclusion and exclusion that changes the definition of reality, and any resistance is seen as bigoted, hateful, and reactionary.
Now, I get the tennis pro, but like the equipment she uses, the rest of this wokism is a racket. Thank you. Hence, the connection between trans activism and Sports Illustrated, especially when the magazine ignores the elephant in the room, which is the impact of male to female trans athletes on female sports. The trans model cover protects them. But it’s a fair question, would she had been on the cover if she wasn’t trans?
But asking that question is like asking why a sports magazine cover would have swimsuits in the first place. I never understood this. I like to keep my general interests in me looking at half naked women separates. I mean, imagine if Popular Mechanics had a swimsuit issue. I mean, I wouldn’t mind. I have a thing for plumbers and their ballcocks. That can — that controls the flow of water in a toilet tank, people. Thank you.
But thanks to the trans cover, the SI staff looks woke as opposed to a bunch of dirty old drooling editors. And it gets activists off your back really easily. It’s like a shop owner spray painting, BLM, we’re with you, on the plywood protecting their window. If you’re woke and the Twitter mob might let you survive, otherwise, they’ll talk to you like a statue of Abe Lincoln.
The women’s magazines got this early on putting plus size models on their covers. They did this because they knew for decades, your obsession with rail thin mannequins led to eating disorders. All the editors are still obsessed over being thin, but now they use heavier models as a shameless stab at enlightenment. Obesity has its own health risks, but bring that up, shame on you for fat shaming. It’s not about the needs of the readers or viewers, anyway. The media is the only industry that holds barely disguised contempt for their customers.
They’re no different than Chinese fentanyl producers, cell phone companies, and any government employee that is supposed to help you. It’s now about creating a virtue signaling stew to placate terrified advertisers. Sports Illustrated is just one example of an effort to blend in, in order to escape the wrath. Victoria’s Secret drop their iconic angels calling them unattainable, which is the whole point of supermodels. They aren’t supposed to be attainable like you and me or else they would be unattainable. It’s the truth symbol of inequality. The real discrimination in life is between levels of physical appeal, not race. But that was the point of the Angels, right? They were quite literally out of this world, but now we want women grounded in real life Victoria’s Secret says. So, who are their new models? Well, not models, it’s their brand ambassadors and they are our soccer player Megan Rapinoe, transgender model, Valentina Sampaio, and plus-size model, Paloma Elsesser, among a few others. So, is that grounded in real life? Maybe I have no idea. I’m a stone-cold super freak. Try me.
And I love being grounded in real life. But if you mean it, they just skip the Teddy’s and sell sweatpants. Don’t sell the extent expensive lingerie that’s grounded in reality. If I want that, I’ll rummage through Kilmeade’s office. Stuff he has is disgusting.
Don’t forget, once the woke police take over every aspect of what we consume, there’s no telling where it’ll stop. You can almost picture it.
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UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Back here again. What is it this time, huh?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What is it this time? Did you or did you not tweet out? I wish the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue stayed the same. What’s so wrong with enjoying women in swimsuits?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, I said that.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That’s sexist and objectifying. Next, we’ll be telling you enjoy reading about sports coverage. Let me tell you something, we went through your recycling bin. Perhaps you’d care to explain this.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, my god. Well, I like cars.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Like cars. Fewer than three percent of the vehicles in here are electric. Don’t you care about global warming?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Guys, geez.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And also, maybe you care to explain this?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, my God. Give me a break. It’s my wife’s magazine. She’s a woman.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Your wife is a woman, that’s very gender binary. And you know damn well that women have not had their day.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Maybe you’d like to explain this.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What? People.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: People, as in new people.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Thank God you’re here.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I object. We have habeas corpus, subpoena, affidavit, plead the fifth, beyond a reasonable doubt. Why? Why do you let them bring you here all the time? Come on. Let’s get out of here.
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GUTFELD: I knew you weren’t a real lawyer. But today’s culture it’s seen through the distorted lens of the media. Everything old is bad, and everything woke is good. I say keep it going. It’s time to normalize everything we once considered impossible. I always wanted to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Maybe it’s my time.
Hello. Welcome tonight’s guest, she’s the vegan who’s got a beef with everyone Fox Business Network anchor, Dagen McDowell. When that press needs a right turn, he grabs the, Right Turn Strategies president, Chris Barron. He’s burned more bridges than General Sherman, Outspoken editor-in-chief, Chadwick Moore. Now, when this former cheerleader says two, four, six, eight, it’s me who she appreciates, Outnumbered co-host Emily Compagno.
Dagen, why can’t straight cis normative males like me be on the cover of the swimsuit issue? I think I would look great in a bikini or a mankini?
DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX NEWS CHANNEL ANCHOR: I do. I have seen the selfies that you take in your private time.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MCDOWELL: I love how Sports Illustrated is moving into this century. But their idea of progress is, well, a woman in a bathing suit standing on the beach, on her knees in the sand with her legs spread. You know, we’re rising up, except we’re not because we’re on all fours with our ass stuck up in the air.
Listen, I went through the photos in this Sports Illustrated and it’s true, so women can rule the world, except, if we’re covered in lotion and have sand in our crack. And you talked about — at least Sports Illustrated still has all these — what did you call them, unattainable models, on the inside pages. I will say that bravery is wearing a bathing suit that is laid a bikini that’s laced across the middle and not having your like kidney fat hanging over the lace, so kudos.
GUTFELD: That is the true hero when you think about it. I don’t know. Chadwick, it’s kind of funny watching companies, kind of, fall over themselves to blend. Like they’re covering their asses by trying to look like they’re the most enlightened, but it’s — it just — do they believe it or they —
CHADWICK MOORE, OUTSPOKEN EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: Oh, good question. We — I think the jury is still out if they believe it or not. They’re so gauging if it’s good for business, you know. Just sometimes it isn’t. I think you’re right that with the Sports Illustrated, well, here we are talking about Sports Illustrated. And they did this again previously a few years ago, they put a fat person and a fat woman in the sprint issue —
GUTFELD: Excuse me, plus-size.
MOORE: A person of obesity —
GUTFELD: Yes.
MOORE: — on the cover. But, yes, we’re talking about the swimsuit issue, which was something that, you know, maybe should have gone away when — with the internet, but it’s good for business, so.
GUTFELD: That is true. That seems like something that should have been killed by the internet since it’s killed everything else, including like three of my jobs. I mean, I’ve told you I’ve worked for Maxim, not everybody here would be like, what’s that?
MOORE: Yes.
CHRIS BARRON, RIGHT TURN STRATEGIES PRESIDENT: I remember, Maxim.
GUTFELD: Yes, I was an editor of Maxim. That was one of the things that just kind of floated off into the ether, along with Stuff Magazine.
BARRON: It was — it was the internet, not you that killed Maxim?
GUTFELD: Some people argue that I was — I was probably the killer. What do you make of this trend, Chris?
BARRON: Well, one, I like to point out that you have two gay men on here to talk about the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, which I find entertaining.
GUTFELD: Yes.
BARRON: But I will opine on it anyway.
GUTFELD: And you also have two women who identify as gay men.
MCDOWELL: That’s actually true. You can say that all the time.
BARRON: What I thought was funny was they actually described the trans model as their first openly trans model. And my question was, have they had another? Like, trans kind of — like wasn’t openly trans? Like, should we going back through former SI models and asking them, is there something you want to tell them?
GUTFELD: Like, I totally missed that. That’s a very keen insight.
BARRON: That’s why I’m here, keen insight.
GUTFELD: Keen insight. But you’re a crazy sports fan.
BARRON: I am.
GUTFELD: You’re right.
BARRON: Which is why I don’t read Sports Illustrated.
GUTFELD: Did you use to?
BARRON: Yes, way back in the day when you had to get like information from USA Today or Sports Illustrated. Look, all of those things are now irrelevant. And Chad was right. Chad was right. We’re talking about this Sports Illustrated, which normally no one does, because, frankly, Sports Illustrated been dead for 15 years.
GUTFELD: See, I don’t — see, I disagree with the idea of media attention. I don’t — I think they do this not to get any attention, because the theory is that they will be called out for misogyny or sexism. And what this is done — what this does is it’s — they paid the over — overpriced — overpaid consultants. They got the diversity, they got all that some — so that they don’t make a ripple, so that they can squeeze by and the advertisers don’t get scared.
Emily, how are you?
EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: So good.
GUTFELD: It’s so great to see you again, right? So, I have a question for you who were once an NFL cheerleader back, what, in the ’70s, right?
COMPAGNO: Yes.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: A little before that. Yes.
GUTFELD: And Stabler used to hit on you.
COMPAGNO: The snake.
GUTFELD: Yes, the snake. You know why he got that name, Dagen. You know —
MCDOWELL: Coming.
GUTFELD: He would snake through the field, right?
BARRON: Yes.
GUTFELD: RIP. I — here’s my question. And it may not even be a question, maybe it’s an opinion. It seems to me that what they’re trying to shut down is anything that kind of indulges the straight male gays, right? It’s like — it’s more like anything that a straight guy is attracted to is kind of the problem. And is that going to happen with cheerleading in general? Because any — like it’s — that’s going to be the next step or maybe it already is, and I’ve missed it.
COMPAGNO: It’s already been happening. And so, the Washington football team essentially just dismantled their cheerleading squad and has — before that, completely overhauled it to put on sort of different more like tracksuit looking uniforms and the likes.
So, the answer was essentially to you feel more tempted by this. And there are thus allegations of sexual harassment will be to extinguish the temptation. I think your point about this playing into the woke Gods essentially to prevent there being the culture mob coming out of them is totally true.
I mean, think about it, there are three covers here. They want to make sure all the boxes are checked. And so, the transgender point, Leyna is not an athlete, but there are in fact, a million transgender athletes out there. We’ve been seeing them not only through high school sports and the subject of a lot of legislation, but also at the Olympic level. So, the fact that there are global, you know, parameters set to that right now, but that’s the one that they’re going to choose because it’s the safe play, because they’re not actually getting into the frame of the sports realm.
GUTFELD: Very smart point, because why didn’t they actually go with the athletes, right? Hmm.
BARRON: There’s one reason why.
GUTFELD: Well, I’ll tell you why. Because they’re the — I said this briefly in the monologue. The real — the most pervasive discrimination on earth is something we all know. It goes back to natural selection, it’s attraction and beauty. People that are lucky to be born with cheekbones go much further. No matter the race than anybody else, which is why I’m very lucky.
MCDOWELL: I can tell — you can buy cheekbones.
GUTFELD: Yes. You — did you really buy those?
MCDOWELL: They’re temporary.
BARRON: Payment plan.
GUTFELD: There’s no need to alter this beautiful face.
Up next, the politicians aren’t being transparent where distrust of debt is apparent.
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GUTFELD: Oh, my God. They’re on the lam because their party’s a scam. Yes, some dems are running away from their party faster than Maxine Waters fleeing a coherent thought.
According to Axios, the website, not my personal trainer. Although, how are you doing Axios? Anyway, ahead of next year’s midterm, some dems are distancing themselves from the Democrat label altogether. They’re like citizens fleeing a mugger and a liberal city.
In the Senate campaign ad, Democrat, Tim Ryan, of Ohio, never mentions he’s a Democrat. That’s like me doing a whole episode of the show without acknowledging how sexy my face is. It’s weird. They keep saying Republicans are as bad as the Civil War, but they’re more ashamed of the alternative.
And, of course, you can’t mention midterms without mentioning its biggest issue, which is the crime wave, while the defund police crowd keeps tripping, crime continues to explode. Here’s the guy smashing a glass bottle over a police officer’s head. This guy was arrested for assaulting officers twice before, yet, here he is walking around. And that’s the problem, not just crime, but the elimination of incarceration.
The only thing that keeps you in jail these days is walking into an open door at the Capitol. And yet, apparently, everything’s fine, right? Here’s MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell, putting the National Park shooting in context.
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ANDREA MITCHELL, ANCHOR, MSNBC: We are thankful to you and to Commissioner Conti and what the police are doing. And we know how safe and wonderful our city is, if this is just a shocking way that it was displayed for the whole country to see in a place that has been improving and safety. But we do have over 100 homicides here already this year, and it is really of concern.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Absolutely.
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GUTFELD: There was absolutely no signs of life and anything she just said, because she didn’t believe it. So, yes, in terms of safety, they’re really killing it. But as a wise man once said, in times of trouble, leniency becomes a crime. And, yes, that wise man was my misuse, then I had him deported for speaking to me during the rub down. I don’t care if he says smart things. I have some rules. Don’t ruin the moments. You’re a lawyer or you claim to be one. How — is this going to change? Because now, we’ve married like this racial justice with team sport politics, so that there’s no way hard left leaders are ever going to go back to a law and order kind of mind frame.
COMPAGNO: I mean, I don’t see how they can given everything that we’ve seen thus far. They’ve come too far to circle back, right?
GUTFELD: Right.
COMPAGNO: The median is now so far left. And that’s why we’re seeing rural Americans fleeing the Democrat Party, because those are the ones — normal real Americans are the ones that think things like law and order are good idea that they shouldn’t be taxed to death, that inflation rising is a hidden tax, that there should be border security. All of those things that aren’t such wild concepts, but the Democrat Party has totally departed from.
And the fact that this crime seems to be or is absolutely skyrocketing, but the party seems to be absolutely ignoring it, I don’t know where that’s going to go from here. They’re — I don’t know what catastrophic event will have to happen for these guys to open their eyes. I think, personally — because first of all, it’s already happening, and frankly, the extinction of our children and all of these major cities. But also, I think that catastrophic event will be in the ballot box when these guys are all voted out of office, especially at the City Council level, because this cannot keep going.
GUTFELD: I have a theory, Chadwick —
MOORE: Yes, sir.
GUTFELD: — I mentioned on “THE FIVE” earlier that if we all decided to be pro-crime, then they would switch. The reason why they are so like pretending this doesn’t exist, is that they don’t want to be aligned with anybody like us.
MOORE: Red hats that say, make New York the ’70s again.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MOORE: Wear those out.
GUTFELD: Exactly.
MOORE: Well, the society looks like we’re moving towards is like Brazil, where you’ve got this mass underclass — is just left to fend for themselves, and then the elites that are protected with private security and guards. You know, that’s where all this defend the police rhetoric goes. And I mean, I think Democrats are fine with that society. I mean, those people remain in power.
GUTFELD: It’s where they’re going. Don Lemon likes it, because, you know, it’s like he’s still like — he could still go to a restaurant in Sag Harbor, you know, because he doesn’t — and everybody else has to fend for themselves, but they’ve got private security, they live in really, really, really protected areas.
Chris, how can people belong to a party that not only hates you but embraces people who hate you? I mean, that’s —
BARRON: No, that’s so that’s a great thing like this Tim Ryan ad, they’re trying to reach out to like rural Democrats. Like here’s the thing. I live on top of a mountain on the West Virginia, Virginia border. Rural Democrats don’t exist anymore. And that’s not because they turn their back on the Democrats —
GUTFELD: Because you killed them.
BARRON: It’s because the Democratic Party not only doesn’t care about rural America, they’ve demonized rural America. Like Tim Ryan can spend all the money in the world chasing rural democratic voters. It’ll be the same thing that Republicans did for 20 years chasing Reagan Democrat.
GUTFELD: Right.
BARRON: The fact is until there’s a sea change in the Democratic Party and they stopped demonizing rural America, there will not be a rural person who votes for their party.
GUTFELD: The only sea change is people drowning in blood. How do you like that for an analogy?
Dagen, you know what, I — you know that guy — you saw the guy hit a cop with a bottle, right? I’m sure the left was more upset that that bottle wasn’t recycled.
MCDOWELL: Right. You’re right actually. So, I — we’ve had this conversation before where I walk around New York City.
GUTFELD: You get very angry, you get more angry than I do.
MCDOWELL: I get — I’m — yes, I’ve stopped key-in cars that cut me off in the crosswalk. So, I — I’m making progress that my — but I — the Second Amendment doesn’t exist here. Just like in Virginia, my friend Kim Edwards (PH) lives in rural Southside Virginia right near where I grew up. And he writes about gun laws and he said, there were these gun laws put in place by — in Virginia. And what they did was create non-violent criminals by those laws, but they’re not fighting violent crime, paraphrase what he said.
So, here in New York Second Amendment doesn’t exist. So, I constantly think, how am I going to defend myself? I saw some nutbag on the street, wearing a snowboard over his back when it was 95 degrees outside and I thought, that guy is no — he’s not crazy. He’s really smart because you could really hurt somebody. Do some damage. So, I’m going to start carrying a leaf blower on my back and just walk where I. In New York, I will be irritating and look insane. That’s the only way that you can defend yourself. GUTFELD: That reminds me, Elon Musk selling flame throwers that — because that was something — and people were actually buying them, remember that? That’s — I’m waiting for my permit to carry. It’s been like a year. It’s ridiculous.
MCDOWELL: So that is —
GUTFELD: And I get death threats from Chris Barron.
MCDOWELL: That’s not actually a flame thrower. It removes roof tar when you’re reroofing a building so you can get them really easily, Greg.
GUTFELD: There you go.
Up next, well, you need a giant net worth to ever leave Earth.
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GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Should we embrace billionaires in space? Or is it a sign of depravity? Spending fortunes to be gravity? This morning super rich bald arch villain, Jeff Bezos, successfully launched himself in a space like a big loogie. The capsule reached a max altitude of 350,000 feet but thankfully, the return was covered under his Amazon Prime membership. This just comes a week after Richard Branson flew a successful test mission with plans to kick off commercial space flights next year.
Bezos and Branson are part of a billionaire space race with Tesla Founder Elon Musk, who is also rich. But what inspires these magnificent men and their flying machines besides the desire to escape alimony laws? It’s nice, they’re doing something our government can’t do using private money to explore the cosmos on time and on budget, which means space travel could someday be available even for the average Joe. Although, I’m a little skeptical anyone actually went to space today. Did you see Blue Origin’s official video from the cockpit?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Check the two levels, Joe.
JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: Zero gravity snacks engage. Busters forward.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Do you notice, Chris, he was actually delivering an Amazon package.
CHRIS BARRON, HUMAN EVENTS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, I noticed that. It was a nice product.
GUTFELD: Yes, but he’s like, we’re going to be in space.
BARRON: Jeff Bezos were paying for this.
GUTFELD: If you’re on the way, why don’t you do it? I’m very pro — I’m not going to bash billionaires for trying to make trying to do something that we need to do. What do you think?
BARRON: I mean, first off, they went to space. They went on a plane ride and for four minutes, they didn’t have to wear a seatbelt. Yes, you can take a flight from, from Miami to New York on frontier and have the exact same experience and it’s probably actually more dangerous than what you saw. These people are acting like they’re Neil Armstrong. I mean, I’m sorry, I’m just not that jazzed about it.
GUTFELD: Yes, I kind of understand. I was more upset Dagen that there wasn’t a woman with long hair. Because isn’t that always the thing? It’s like, oh, look at my hair all over the place. They’re also like, they’re also enamored by gravity, having no gravity so get used to it. We’re used to it.
DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK HOST: Yes. Wait, where’s this hair thing? Is this like some dream that you know —
GUTFELD: Female astronauts? It’s too — their hair is always. Am I the only person —
CHADWICK MOORE, CONTRIBUTOR, THE SPECTATOR: No, no they’re with you.
(CROSSTALK)
MCDOWELL: No, you’re age-shaming the elderly woman who chose —
GUTFELD: There were no people of color on that trip. This is not just a space race. This is the space race.
MCDOWELL: I have a life lesson to take away from this, Greg.
GUTFELD: Please do.
MCDOWELL: I look at Jeff Bezos and think to every young woman, don’t turn your back on the guy who looks like Marty Feldman.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MCDOWELL: Or Peter Falk, because he could wind up being the richest dude on the planet. And you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t go out on that date. You just lose a king.
GUTFELD: He just gave 100 million to Van Jones just because he likes the guy. I wish I had a billionaire friend, Chadwick. Anyway, that’s not really a question. Do you know any billionaires?
MOORE: Oh, I’ve met a couple of billionaires. They’re very nice people.
GUTFELD: What do you make of this fantastic four-minute voyage?
MOORE: Yes, I kind of agree on that. I’m a, I’m a big space nerd. I love space. It’s — I mean, it’s kind of nice distraction from the politics if we can get and say look what humanity is doing, but it’s not that big of a deal. Low sub-orbit, I mean, if you’re up there like, I mean, just being in airplane is kind of amazing. I mean, I’m so enamored by air travel. I mean, we should be, right?
BARRON: But we’re the flying cars we were promised?
MOORE: Where are the flying cars? Thank you.
BARRON: Yes, like I’m just, I’m just not that jazzed.
GUTFELD: Yes, I don’t say where the flying cars. Where are the driving planes? Where are the drive — I want to drive, I want to drive a plane across country, Emily.
EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: That’s like my car.
GUTFELD: Yes, it is like your car.
COMPAGNO: Just the car that goes really fast.
GUTFELD: What are your thoughts?
COMPAGNO: OK, I love this. You guys, I totally cried when they landed. Yes, I got super emotional. I loved every minute of it. And here’s the thing, I surprised myself because I was sort of a hater in the beginning and I was like Team Branson and like, yes, Bezos is a nerd and Amazon’s bloated and all this stuff. But when I saw that, I totally, I totally cried, and hearing and seeing Wally Fung story the, the elderly woman and at 82, at age 21, she competed with all the guys for mercury seven. This was you know, a million years ago.
She beat all of them. But because of her gender, she wasn’t an astronaut, and she still was a trailblazer her whole life. And then I just feel like it — she now is accomplishing what she wanted to do, her true dream. It’s never too late. It’s not too late. And seeing her excitement was really, it was really inspirational and I felt like they did a good homage to history, like they brought up a piece of canvas from the Wright flyer, an Amelia Earhart’s goggles, and I feel like they were, they were really honoring history. I know it’s not full space.
BARRON: Don’t try to shame me into having a heart. It’s not going to work.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: How did we have Amelia Earhart’s goggles? Didn’t she (INAUDIBLE) here?
MCDOWELL: Well, she flew planes before she —
MOORE: She had more than one pair.
GUTFELD: I only have one pair of goggles and I only wear them when I fly.
MCDOWELL: I have one thing to say to you. Sucker!
GUTFELD: I’m going to add this. This is a very important achievement because we have to start thinking about eating something besides Earthlings. I want Interstellar cuisine and I want it before I my life ends. Because I’m tired of eating people — things.
MOORE: People —
GUTFELD: (BLEEP). I got to go. Up next, are the makers of Scrabble indulging CRT babble?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
ANNOUNCER: “EVERYTHING IS RACIST.”
GUTFELD: It’s no moment for mirth, you’re racist at birth. Hasbro is now, is now been accused, allegedly, of promoting racial dogma on its employees. A whistleblower who came forward to Project Veritas says Hasbro is pushing critical race theory through toy packaging and training. Here he was on a show called “Hannity.”
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAVID JOHNSON, HASBRO WHISTLEBLOWER: The reason I oppose CRT so much is because CRT teaches people, and at Hasbro they wanted to teach children to judge people based on race, and that’s not something that I feel that Dr. Martin Luther King would have supported.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Now, because we were bored, we reached out to Hasbro for comment. They said in part Project Veritas report that Mr. mischaracterizes Hasbro and our values. The reference session was not mandatory training. It was an optional webinar, attended by a small group of employees. There’s a word I hate.
“As always, the views expressed by external speakers are their own and do not reflect the views of the company.” Translation, we invited these overpaid speakers so our enlightened diversity distracts activists from our evil binary toys. Meanwhile, a change.org petition making the rounds among academics is calling for a quote robust anti-racism plan for the geosciences.
Yes, even rocks are racist. The petition theorizes whereas, whereas a white geologist with a rock hammer will be seen as safe, a black geologist may be seen as a threat. It’s confusing to most Americans who have never actually seen a rock hammer. But it’s like, they always say, if the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything becomes a nail, which is still no reason for me to hang out nude at Ace Hardware. But it’s true. What I just said. I don’t remember what I said Emily, but it was true.
COMPAGNO: Something about being naked. I can’t get it out of my head.
GUTFELD: Everything — I mean, looking at a black geologist and assuming he’s a mugger, is something that a white leftist would put on somebody else. They are conflating, oh, I hammer with black crime. It’s not — no one else is doing this. It’s them. It’s the white leftist.
COMPAGNO: And I feel like this is the prime example of what is wrong with everything in academia right now. Which is, while the professors and the learned people in every subject are like worried about pronouns, and we’re worrying about what might happen, and this is why do we have to change text and language? American children are like last in the entire galaxy for science scores and geology scores, and the like.
Like, they’re really worried about diversity in this field, then why don’t we go back to school choice? Why don’t we go back to quality public education? Why don’t we go back to a lot of other things that might actually help that in a qualitative sense, rather than some rando talking about that, that this hypothetical?
GUTFELD: Yes, you know, I’m thinking, Dagen, you know, when I’m thinking about Hasbro and starting so young, could it be that instead of when a woman is giving birth, the — what is it a pediatric surgeon? Who gives — an obstetrician?
MCDOWELL: An obstetrician.
COMPAGNO: OBG.
MCDOWELL: O.B.
GUTFELD: There’s too much (BLEEP) in my brain. They’re no longer to say it’s a boy or a girl. It’s going to be, it’s not racist, or it’s racist. Oh, look at what is it, it’s not racist, now it looks like it’s racist, right?
MCDOWELL: Apparently, identifying the gender of the baby is actually evil.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MCDOWELL: Right. You’re assigning — you say it’s a girl, well, you’re assigning that gender. It’s not a girl.
I went through a list of toys that I played with when I was a kid and they were all really evil.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MCDOWELL: Lincoln Logs just encouraging deforestation. Hungry, Hungry, Hippos, hippos donate marbles. What about ants in the pants? What is that about? Yes, I could go on for days about what kind of kink that brought on to my life.
But apparently, I went through a list of like horrible toys from the past, there was a gun, a cap gun that you wore on your belt, and when you thrust your pelvis forward, it would fire cap. Maybe that wasn’t a real but I kind of —
MOORE: Where did you grow up, Dagen?
MCDOWELL: I got a giggle at that.
GUTFELD: No, there’s a few clubs down now downtown, the guy still wear that. By the way. Chris it’s a good point, I don’t think I see cap cones anymore, right, are gone?
BARRON: Yes, cap guns are, they’re way gone. I mean, we weren’t even allowed to have a gun emoji anymore.
GUTFELD: Right.
BARRON: The gun emoji. So, like, I mean, come on.
GUTFELD: You can’t even do this with your finger.
BARRON: No.
GUTFELD: This is considered threatening.
BARRON: You can’t do this either.
GUTFELD: What if we do this and this? By the way, no one has put that together yet. What happened? Your hand gets pregnant.
BARRON: Do you know who loves that everything is racist? The actual racist.
David Duke loves it. And like whatever that weird racist at CNN keeps putting on. They love it. Because they know the American people are going to tune out and so actual racist though, that this push by the left makes life easier for them.
GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true. Chadwick, it’s weird because like, you know, when you watch, I don’t know, under Trump, there was this opposition between this entire media landscape and Trump. But it’s, this is not the case now in the sense that, like, it’s not like Fox really cares about Joe Biden. It’s just like, you know, ineffectual it’s this, it’s like, it’s not even about a person. It’s about this thing, it’s like this weird thing that’s all around us. And it has so many heads and we’re like, going like, what the hell is going on? It’s Hasbro. It’s, you know, it’s geologists, it’s nuts.
MOORE: Yes, and then we had we had that they miss him so much. They miss Trump so much. We all do.
GUTFELD: I know, I know.
MOORE: Yes. When we had, yes, we had this beacon that was sort of standing against it. Now, he’s gone and I think you’re right that’s what it feels like, you’re like, what?
GUTFELD: Yes.
MOORE: And they’re just talking to each other. They’re not talking to us and, yes, absolutely. Well, I —
GUTFELD: Well, I think I’m no longer — I’m going to boycott Hasbro.
MOORE: Yes.
GUTFELD: I don’t know what that means.
BARRON: I don’t know either. We were not good at boycotting.
GUTFELD: No, I know, you know what, I’ll probably just go buy more toys.
MOORE: Maybe we need to demand that they condemn critical race theory.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MOORE: Will you condemn it if they’re going to deny it? That was a good approach.
GUTFELD: Exactly. All right. Up next, Taco Bells in trouble why they need more ingredients on the double?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: They are at a loss for hot sauce. Taco Bell, the purveyors of America’s most authentic Mexican cuisine. What, what’s with the laughter? Terrible. Is the — they’re dealing with a major ingredient shortage due to national delivery delays. It’s actually the first time their ingredients have moved slowly through any system.
Yes, I love a good poop joke. Restaurant locations across the country are reportedly running out of beef and chicken and other staples which raises the question, who wants to eat staples? Am I right? But Taco Bell is not alone. You might remember back in May, it was major drama at Chick-Fil-A when they dealt with a dipping sauce shortage of its own. So, there you have it shortages at Chick-Fil-A and now at Taco Bell.
If we had had a third example, we would have led the show with the story. It’s a little joke about the media because I always need three things. Why am I telling you this? But it tells you a basic truth about life. You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food. All you need are some rice some beans and a very strong sphincter. It’s true. Do you know it’s one of the few muscles you can control, Dagen.
MCDOWELL: You say that — you say that because you’re a dude.
GUTFELD: Just saying. I mean, it’s like thank God we can control that. Imagine if we clicked —
MCDOWELL: Chew on that, Greg.
GUTFELD: Yes.
MCDOWELL: Do you want me to weight in Taco Bell? Always go for the nacho bell grande. And by the way, there’s been a shortage of nitro cold brew at the Starbucks around here. And I got outrage which was probably a signal that I maybe shouldn’t drink nitro cold brew.
GUTFELD: Yes, you get upset. Chadwick, well, how do you how are you experiencing this ingredient shortage? How have you been able to cope?
MOORE: Oh, my mornings have been less productive, gastrointestinally speaking. My Chalupa seems to be unaffected so far, so that’s been good, yes. And Chick-Fil-A sauces are back. So, that’s good. That’s, that’s definitely a good thing.
GUTFELD: This, Chris, is a tough a tough, I think a tough part. A tough thing to go through. Or you do have a strong family situation that can comfort you through this shortage.
BARRON: You shouldn’t eat Taco Bell.
GUTFELD: Really?
BARRON: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I don’t care how drunk or how high you are. You should not eat Taco Bell. By the way, they said they ran out of lettuce.
GUTFELD: Yes.
BARRON: I don’t know if you know, but go anywhere and they have lettuce. So, what the hell were they passing off as lettuce? Because if you had a shortage of lettuce, you would just go to the store and actually get lettuce? So, what the hell were they selling us?
MCDOWELL: Taco Bell kept me from getting pregnant during college because I was 30 pounds heavier because I ate Taco Bell every day. And I was alone.
GUTFELD: I had no idea that it had birth control benefits. I salute Taco Bell because they, let’s say there’s like four ingredients: you got meat, cheese, shells, and let’s just say loosely, vegetables. They come up with an infinite number of products. And that’s got to be a fun meeting to sift through, and go like, OK, they lay out everything in there. What are we going to make now? Do they roll it, do they stretch it? Do they make it into a triangle? That’s the, that’s the pride taco.
MOORE: They get super high first.
GUTFELD: Yes, they get super high. And then they just throw everything in a jar and they eat it with a spoon, Emily.
COMPAGNO: You guys, Taco Bell was the spot growing up. So, in high school, there was this one location where our friends would work there. So, that would be the total hook up, we would have like dance parties in the drive thru, it’s all about the seven layer burrito and also the bean and cheese. And the reason I think that they’re also having a shortage of all the sauces is because everyone grabs like eight handfuls. Exactly.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: So, in the times of plenty, that’s when we should have been rationing more. So, the rest of us could still have some buyer sauce.
GUTFELD: There’s some Greek with a junk drawer full of sauce.
MOORE: Sounds like a communist.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: We must move on. Stay right there. We’ll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: We are out of time. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks to Dagen McDowell, Chris Barron, Chadwick Moore, Emily Compagno, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld and I love you America.
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